Victoria EverleighChanging my relationship with money is part of my sanctification process.
Like anything, it’s ongoing. God’s taken my dependent, somewhat possessive relationship with moola, combined with my pride, to draw me closer to Him to show me that money isn’t really my security blanket.
One of the things I did to start changing my relationship with money was understanding it and learning my “money type”. You know how the saying goes, “Awareness is the first step.”
No matter what your relationship with money, I totally encourage you to take these quizzes to learn a little something about yourself and maybe even say, “Yes, that sounds like me!”
1) MoneyType.me
This is the 40-question money type questionnaire from WorthFM. (I’m not affiliated with them in any way. They require you to sign up with your email to get the results. This is the only part I don’t like, but once I started getting emails, I just unsubscribed.)
There are 5 types: Visionary, Producer, Nurturer, Epicure and Independent.
I got 89% “Producer” (which is kind of funny bc Tv Producer is my job in real life) with Visionary as my second type.
The results tell me a Producer likes to acquire and save money and is usually very conservative about spending it — which I think is a very accurate description for me.
Fear
Each money type also has a fear. The Producer is afraid of losing a big amount of their money and/or losing control of their money.
Sigh. That is also very true for me.
I felt controlled by money growing up. It really seemed like my opinion didn’t matter unless I was paying the bills – even as a minor. I felt a lot of anxiety about the things in my life being taken away from me. I felt powerless.
Therefore, I desired to become financially independent as soon as possible. I wanted to save, save, save so I wouldn’t have to be vulnerable and ask for help financially and feel indebted to the person who had helped me (side note: it’s totally possible to get financial help from family and NOT feel this way.).
Nothing could be taken away or threatened to be taken away, if I owned those very things outright.
On my 16th birthday, during summer break, I went to my high school to get a work permit so I could start my job, which I’d secured ahead of time.
It’s hard to believe that was almost 10 years ago. In some ways, I’m still the same. I’m a big saver and I like to work so I can pay my own way.
Having a fear of losing money means I try to hold on to it as much as I can — which leads to my not being as generous I could be and/or not buying things I probably need because I want to save my cash.
For example, shortly after college, I put myself on a $5-6/day budget for food. If I reached that threshold but was still hungry, I’d either deny myself dinner or buy something cheap and remind myself to be more stringent next time. It was a very unhealthy mindset that I’ve thankfully worked through, but it all stemmed from my fear that I wouldn’t have enough and wanting to be in control.
My fear of losing money has also kept me proud (which I don’t want). If I don’t have to ask for help financially, then I keep my pride. But if I fall on hard times then I’d have to be vulnerable and ask for money.
Working with God
All of my money fears caused me to think about it A LOT, taking my attention away from other parts of my life.
Only recently have I truly started to step back, with the guidance of God through prayer, and really consciously try to change my attitude about all of this.
I ask Him to give me opportunities to be generous (aka spend more money) — and I can feel my resistance to it when I’m in the moment!
For example, I’m the person who asks, “Do you need anything at the grocery store?” And then I hope the person says no so that I look generous but don’t actually have to buy anything.
I like to think of Mother Theresa in those moments who said to give with a cheerful heart! That is what I want – “to give and not count the cost.” I know when these reminders come to me, it is God answering my prayers.
As for my pride, I know God has placed many people in my life who would help me in my time of need I’ll just need to have a bite of humble pie first!
2) MoneyHarmony Quiz
The other quiz I took was Moneyharmony. For this one, you don’t have to use your email to get results!
I matched as a money “amasser”, which I thought was right on for me. It’s very similar to the “Producer” from the other quiz. The other options were hoarder, avoider, money monk and spender.
I won’t go into as much detail for this quiz, but I think it’s valuable to take both and reflect on them.
Go to God
God has been so comforting for me in this process, especially in Adoration.
Tell Him your fears about money, whether it’s about not having enough or being taken advantage of or feeling inadequate compared to others who earn more. Ask Him to give you opportunities to overcome your fears and to change your beliefs around money that hold you back. Ask Him to help you be patient during the process. He wants you to live in peace.
God doesn’t value our opinions because of how much money we have in the bank; He values what we think and feel because we are His. How beautiful! He always listens too!
Changing attitudes toward money take time. I’m still working on it. I still face resistance within to change my behavior. But God is patient and I know He’s with me every step of the way.