Victoria EverleighOne of my best friends went through a break up last week.
Her heartbreak brought me back to the days of a relationship ending. The feeling of your stomach dropping. Like there’s no floor beneath your feet. Like your heart is being dragged by an anchor to the bottom of the sea.
Emotional pain is physical.
I’ve been married almost 5 years, so it’s been a while since I had my romantic heart broken, but I remember feeling like I didn’t have a lot of resources to turn to in the “Catholic world.”
I knew of marriage retreats, marriage rehabs, divorce ministries, but where was there support for a single woman with a broken heart?
Most voices I heard online were from married women, married men, or priests and nuns. (And these are great, but I was yearning to hear from someone who understood my plight at that moment.)
Some unhelpful but well-intended Christian advice included:
- Savor your season of singleness
- It’s better to be single wishing you were married than to be married wishing you were single
- If you’re unhappy single, you’re going to be unhappy married
Though these statements had grains of truth, they didn’t piece my splintered heart back together, and they certainly didn’t make me feel validated.
Not surprisingly, I turned to secular sources. Many were helpful, but there was also something lacking, namely the integration of Jesus and my values. I didn’t want to hear someone tell me to jump back into the dating pool ASAP to forget my ex, or the cringe-worthy “Get under someone new to get over someone else.” No! We can do better than this.
Not Enough
And even now, eight years on from heartbreak, I still think there are resources lacking for young people in our Church who are heartbroken.
And you know who I can partly blame?
Myself.
When I was single, I told myself that when I got married, I’d find a way to support single people yearning for a spouse. I had felt “less-than” as someone who wasn’t in her vocation and I didn’t want other singles to feel that way.
But I haven’t done much in that department, save a few podcast episodes I recorded:
I want to be more helpful. I want Catholic singles to feel like someone cares about their journey to finding love!
So here I am, wondering how can we help young people who are going through heartbreak in a Christ-centered way in line with Theology of the Body?
Because time doesn’t heal; Christ does.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Maybe it’s podcast episodes; maybe it’s a book. Maybe there’s already stuff out there I don’t know about. Please share in the comments.